Welcome back for another edition of Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop!
This week my chosen prompt was: 1.) Choose a headline from The Today Show website and write up an opinion post based on the story you chose.
I’m not much of a news groupie, but when I clicked through The Today Show’s link and perused the headlines, the report on Money Magazine’s Five Best Places to Live in America pulled me right in.
Believe it or not, I have actually lived in the *only* town to ever make Money’s list two times: the esteemed Nashua, NH.
Before we moved to Nashua, we heard all about how it was the best place to live, it’s proximity to Boston, it’s proximity to the ocean, it’s proximity to the White Mountains.
But I’ll let you in on a little marketing secret: when someone mentions “the proximity to“ some other location, what they are actually telling you is that it really isn’t all that close. In fact, all those fabulous things are an hour away, and all in a different direction from one another.
To hear that New Hampshire has no sales tax nor state income tax probably sounds great, but what’s not so great is the insanely high property tax rate.
People drive through New England in the Fall to see the changing colors of the leaves, but all those trees will lose those beautifully-colored leaves, and at least one tree will inevitably come crashing to the ground during some storm, ripping through your neighborhood’s power lines, and rendering you without power for days, IF.NOT.WEEKS.
Sure, Cape Cod-style homes are picturesque and “New Englandy”, but did you know that those homes generally have just 1 or maybe 1.5 baths?
And NO garage?
Oh, and no central air?
The winter we lived there, we had over 100 INCHES of snow fall, and it stayed on the ground for 6 STRAIGHT MONTHS.
There were no Super Targets.
There were no Chipotles.
On the bright side, though, you could find a Dunkin Donuts on every corner.
And more Pizza and Subs joints than you could ever imagine.
Sorry to sound so *snarky*, but we were supposedly living in the middle of a perfectly wonderful place, yet we were perfectly, wonderfully miserable.
And the people there were miserable, too.
You may think it’s cute to say things like, “I pah-k my cah by the hah-bah,” but in reality, most native New Englanders tend to act like they’re carrying around a chip on their shoulder. In fact, if you come across someone who smiles when they meet your gaze, I’d venture a guess that person’s a transplant.
But wouldn’t you be “All *Snarky*, All The Time” if you had to share just 1 toilet, dig your car out of a snow pile for half the year, and lived your life jacked up on Dunkin Dark Roast, eclairs and meatball subs?
So, congratulations Eden Prarie, MN, Ellicott, MD, Newton, MA, Bellevue, WA & McKinney, TX! I’m sure you’re very proud.
But for me? Nah. I’d need to see it to believe it.
{This post is entered into Word Up, YO!}
{ 46 comments… read them below or add one }
I’m laughing so hard right now because it’s all true.
Although: people in NH are much friendlier than they are in Boston. I perfected my Stare Directly Over Your Left Shoulder And Do Not Make Eye Contact look on the subway in Boston, and it kind of weirds people out here. Just sayin’.
Thank you for making me feel like I’m not the only one who hates living out here. The power outages is my biggest beef. It’s unfathomable to the extended family that when the power goes out, we end up having to go to a hotel for days at a time. You already know I cannot wait to move!
WOW now that’s eye opening! LOL for “I pah-k my cah by the hah-bah,” hahahaha so funny! I’ve never been to New England before so thanks for giving me a better picture of life up there.
Well written! As someone who lives in Ocala, FL – in close proximity to beaches, and Orlando (read: 90 miles), I completely understand. And while I’m not from New England, I am from Long Island, the land of the unfriendly. Also, we don’t have a Chipotle’s anywhere near here and I’m dying to try it!
I would love to visit the New England area but I’m almost positive I’d never be able to live there. I like my southern hospitality and the older I get the more intolerant of cold weather I am. No thanks.
You have fallen off my RSS feed. Glad you tweeted this.
We currently live in a place that has that unique blend of fantastic no-sales-tax but ridiculous property taxes (nearly 3% of assessed value). It’s backbreaking.
Eden Prairie, MN made the list? i’ve been there on business. Wow. No offense to Minnesotans, but that place seemed about as exciting as clipping one’s toenails.
Oh my word! Am I ever glad to live in the friendly South!!! Where we get eye contact AND smile. We parrrk are carrz over yonder. Very funny writing! We’re headed to Maine this Fall–will they think my eye contact and smiles are weird?
I’m here from Mama Kat’s. Now, I’m going to peek around your blog a bit more! Happy Thursday!
No Chipotle? Sacrilege!
Makes me feel better about those rankings though…
I live in CT and this is a spot-on New England post. I love it!
Stopping by from Mama Kat’s!
I’m never going to believe those articles ever again!
Also, I’m now frightened of people from New England.
I was out at 100 inches of snow. If it’s below 70 degrees, I complain it’s too cold.
This is a really great post Liz! You know how much I hate the “great post” comments, but it’s true in this case! You pulled the pretty wrapping paper back and exposed the reality of living in the greatest place in the country to live…well done!
Okay, that’s brilliant because those are EXACTLY the things I wonder when I read those reviews!
Uh huh…I say as I hear about all the beautiful local features…how far away are they exactly?
I see the beautiful houses and I think…weren’t those all built in the 50s and 60s? Aren’t they tiny? Don’t they all have old plumbing?
And the one and only time I lived in a place with stunning deciduous trees, I felt like I was living in a graveyard through the winter because EVERYTHING…and I mean EVERYTHING was GRAY! (My West Coast self is used to lots of evergreens – here in the winter it’s GREEN, hence the “ever” part!)
=) You are wonderfully honest and so funny!! I live near Bellevue and I would NEVER live there… just sayin!
not to offend those that like it there… its just uh… not cozy or friendly there! and expensive! and not friendly… just sayin…
I love your take on this! I loved the look of the towns I saw in Virginia and Maryland this last spring and thought it would be peachy to live there, but you’ve set me straight! I’ll dodge that bullet thanks to you!
Oh, I agree!! There are so many places to live that are great, but really, it’s something very subjective and personal. I could not share a bathroom, and we all know I’m a Georgia girl at heart!
Ellicott City, Maryland is on the list of nicest places to live? That’s…interesting. I mean, it’s OKAY there, but I would never pick it out as special or awesome. And it’s about 30 minutes from Baltimore, which is like the shoot-your-face-in capital of the US.
Interesting!!! I’m always jealous when I read about those “top places to live”. And I’ve always had a thing for New England. But only one bathroom?!?! Oh hell no!
I am with you…no chipotle=not an area i am going to live in…haha.
What is it with up north, there is a dunkin donuts and subway on every corner! not complaining about the donuts or anything..
A Dunkin Donuts on every corner? That is my idea of heaven. The snow and the snarkiness… not so much. We would also be in serious trouble if we had to share one toilet.
Great post!
SOunds like a dismal place
No just kidding, every place has its beauty, even if we can’t see it….someone else surely must!!!!
Stopping by from Mama Kat’s…
Funny how people who don’t live there make these lists up. I’m sure if they actually lived there they wouldn’t be making such claims.
Thanks for sharing,
Oh, thank you for your perspective! I read that article as well, and was miffed when the only city from Michigan (my state) that made the *top 100* was Ann Arbor (college town known for being a bit full of itself). There was a little button to compare your town to the other top cities, and my hometown (Canton, MI) was actually better than most of the top 100 cities across the board. But, Michigan has such a bad reputation these days! And we are a “proximity” to Detroit, so our reputation goes down even more for that!
I would definitely say Tucson, AZ is NOT on the list. I’ve visited several places and my favorite are Medford, OR , Bend, OR, Apex/Raleigh, NC and Emerald Isle, NC. Let’s start a discussion here on other readers’ favorite places.
Wow. Didn’t see that one coming. I was thinking it sounded pretty nice in the beginning before you laid it out for us. You would definitely HATE Iowa. Perhaps it’s all in our persepctive. I have to drive like a day to find oceans or mountains and we STILL have freaking humidity and -30 in the winter (actual temps) with crazy amounts of snow for at least 6 months. Don’t know if I’m sold yet. But the super Target thing might be the deal breaker for me.
Coming in at #10 is a town 15 minutes from where we live! Pretty sweet, I’d say!
What an interesting point of view, Liz! Grass is always greener, huh? But as your post so eloquently puts it.. on the other side of grass is dirt, if not worse! I had always thought NE might be nice, but now I’m definitely thinking it’s not for me. No Super Targets, how could I survive?
I love it! Sometimes I wonder who makes up these lists of supposed best places to live etc. Have they ever lived there? My guess is no!
As someone who reads those lists and gets all wistful, and then considers packing up and making a move to anywhere but here, it’s good to hear your perspective.
I have visited a few of the places on this year’s list and McKinney, Texas? Uh, no. It’s cute and all, but not Top 5 cute.
I love where I live, but I always have the bug to go, go, go. This was a good reminder to me: ask someone who has lived there BEFORE I call the realtor!
Oh, Liz, you make me never want to live in New England. Not that there’s much danger of that (I’m a Southern girl, born and bred), but the nice pics of Cape Cod on the Bachelorette last week did have me thinking for a second, “Wow, that looks nice.” And then, “But wait a sec. It looks FREEZING.” And everything was kind of gray.
I also went to the university known by NC locals as the University of New Jersey at Durham for law school, and got a small taste of Northern hospitality while there. This post has helped me to understand the source of their snark, and for that, I thank you.
FUNNY! Thanks for the insight…because honestly, when I see those things I think, wow….I’ve got to go there or how come we don’t live there? I wonder how they come up with these places?
I always wonder about those lists….I live near Bellevue, and while it’s very rich and all, that also means it’s INSANELY expensive! I can’t imagine wanting to live there. *shudder* Living North is bad enough, property values are ridiculous, traffic is awful, I refuse to move any closer to the city…and at Bellevue it’s all 10 times worse! No thank you!
I guess the grass isn’t always greener–I couldn’t do snow for 6 months out of the year–ick! I’m pretty sure I’d go out of my mind….then again, I get to deal with southern humidity. So it’s a toss up!
This was a funny post!
Liz, that post was just the best! And I’m so glad someone else said that about those Northeasterners. Man, they are one crabby folk. My little Miss Sunshine act didn’t win a single one of them over. I think its’ the weather and how little sunlight they get in the winter. Either that or they’re just big old crabs.
Insider information!!! That’s the way, Liz. Thanks for illuminating us!
Point taken. I will stay away.
You just made me give a big *whew!* that we didn’t move to Connecticut. You pretty much nailed all my worries right on the head. Instead we chose to move to a city where all the unhappy Northeasterners are moving to, just so they can have a Chipotle! If you can’t beat em, join em I say.
LOL, funny how what looks good on paper doesn’t necessarily mean it is a good fit for most! I know I would have the same feelings you did about living there. I watch my best friend try really hard not to hate living in NH too much, she is really trying hard. I don’t know what I would d with out my Chipotle, let alone really great Mexican food! I love living where I live in CA and I know it probably didn’t make it on that list.
They do say the grass isn’t always greener on the other side, right? Or, the grass is always greener? (I was never really good at that!) I’ve always wanted to visit NH – but I have to say, the 100 inches of snow … NO WAY!! (And this is a Windy City Girl talking!) Right now, I can’t move anywhere there is not a Starbucks (pathetic, isn’t it?) Oh, who am I kidding …we aren’t going anywhere! Illinois … the flat land … the corn … the mall (wink wink) … that’s home!
You mean NH property taxes are worse then ours here in my part of IL?!
You’ve delivered yet another fabulous post Liz! How in the world do you do it? I swear, your brain is overflowing with creativity isn’t it? lol
As for life in the America’s Best, well I’d venture to say that the folks who put those lists together have never actually lived in those cities. Statistics are black and white, whereas the human experience is full of color. And in this case, the folks living in Nashua, NH are seeing red!
Thanks for stopping by Liz. Have a fabulous weekend!
Kristi, Live and Love…Out Loud
@TweetingMama
Great use of the WOW!! I missed out on snarky, since being on a road trip alone with the kids didn’t leave me any energy for blogging…
This is very funny, and I love your explanation of “in proximity to” which is so true! I have several times rented places and found out what this really means…
NO CHIPOTLES?
I used to live in a place where there were no Chipotles. I called that the “dark time”. Of course, most of that was before Chipotles were invented, or BC. Oh that’s cooler than I expected it to be…BC.
I live West of Boston and have been to NH for the “no sales” tax, mainly on liquor, anyway, totally hear ya! Spot on!
So funny, Liz. I’ve never been to New England. But I did live in Kalamazoo, MI and the lake effect snow sucked! From Oct to March I was blinded by the glare off the snow. (I stumbled this one)
Too funny! Plus, once they list somewhere as the best place to live, everyone wants to live there and then it develops all the problems everywhere else has.
This is hilarious! I’ve done the far out suburban (country) thing before and although it was cute, I could not deal with certain things like, “I pah-k my cah by the hah-bah.”I also couldn’t deal with the fact there was only one mall nearby.