Whack Job at the Post Office, Tom Cruise Style

Prompt 5.) Describe an awkward conversation you had with someone recently.

I seem to completely bastardize slightly modify the prompts more times than not. With this prompt, it’s the timing that is different.  This post was originally published on March 13, 2009, an entire year before I entered the Great Wide World of Public Blogging. So I guarantee none of you have laid eyes on it until now.

This story rivals only that of my first sewing class in terms of awkward social situations.  So if you haven’t gotten your “awkward” fix for the day – or really love hearing about “mature” women going commando while wearing see-through pants – you might want to click through that link.

——————————————————————–

I just had a completely ridiculous experience at the Post Office. Really, I still can’t believe it happened, and it’s been 2 hours…

Kate, Maddie, 3 huge boxes and I navigated our way through 2 sets of double doors and another door to get into the Post Office.  When we walked in, there was a man up at the counter with a USPS employee. Two women had their backs to the main counter, and were standing at the spot – across the lobby – where the Post Office leaves things like change of address cards, delivery confirmation, return receipts, etc. I pushed the double stroller and all its contents to the spot where the line begins, with only the man currently being helped by the USPS employee in front of us.

***Note: I need to stop here and point something out.  Is it or is it not common knowledge that, when filling out things like delivery confirmation cards or searching for the correctly-sized USPS box that fits the gift you want to mail, you do NOT consider yourself to be in line?  And you do NOT expect people coming in after you to wait on you to finish up before heading to the counter to buy their stamps?

Nice Lady came in after us and got in line behind us. A few minutes passed before Quiet Lady and Grumpy Old Lady finished up with whatever paperwork they were filling out at the provided counter area across the lobby and turned to get in line. It wasn’t long before Grumpy Old Lady started making snarky comments plenty loud enough for even the employee behind the counter to hear.  All sorts of crap about the “indecency of mankind to cut in front of her in line” and how “good people would say to her that she should move ahead of them.”

She kept this up for so long that Nice Lady actually turned around and told Grumpy Old Lady to move in front of her. Grumpy Old Lady was all, “Oh no! I couldn’t do that!” and just continued on with her obnoxious commentary. Nice Lady responded by moving all the way to the end of the line. This didn’t alleviate the problem, apparently, because Grumpy Old Lady continued to wage her war.

It was then that Nice Lady said, “Well, I’m going to be the bigger person here,” and I knew the verbal brawl was on.

The USPS employee made some comment like, “Ladies, ladies…a little feisty today!”  Maddie started to cry and the bickering kept heating up, so the USPS employee called for someone else to come help her work through the line. I stepped forward and started with my transaction.

Grumpy Old Lady was unrelenting. She shifted gears and started blaming the Post Office for “leaving pens out that didn’t work,” so it took her extra long because she had to “dig through her purse to find a usable pen.”

Nice Lady and her continued their back and forth much like Tom Cruise and Jack Nicholson did in A Few Good Men.  I found myself laughing at the scene as it continued to unfold.  The girls were with me, but Kate was (luckily) unaware.

That’s when Grumpy Old Lady bellowed, “You all will be treated as sinners by God on your judgment days!”

Yep, she actually said that.

To a bunch of strangers.

In the post office.

Because SHE lacks common courtesy.

It had reached a point where I had to say something.

After laughing out loud at the ridiculousness of her statement as well as the irony that she felt WE were the ones who were doing something inappropriate, I said, “But you were the one who started all of this.”

Grumpy Old Lady turned around and shot back, “I’m 70 years old, and I’ve seen more in my lifetime than you ever will, so you just need to SHUT.UP!”

(I’m laughing as I type this. This all was so surreal, I couldn’t make up this kind of crap even if I tried!)

Nice Lady jumped in and pointed out that I had 2 young kids with me. Grumpy Old Lady told her that she had 5 kids of her own.

At that point what I should have said was, “Are they all as sweet and well-mannered as you?”

Damn.  If only the kids weren’t with me.

Quiet Lady was now being helped at the counter, and Nice Lady came up and started talking to Kate. We finished up our transaction and got out of there.

So who says that manners and respect are lost on the younger generations?!

And what was that line about Southern hospitality?!

{This post is also part of Mommy Wants Vodka‘s Celebrity Target challenge.  My target is none other than the Brooke-Shields-slamming Thomas Cruise Mapother IV!}

Related Posts:

• This photo is not doctored in any way
• Rude Awakening
• That Time in the Public Restroom
• I Used to Work with a Moron
• When I Knew I’d Be Wearing The Pants