Nina Badzin (@NinaBadzin) left me a comment on my Everybody’s Favorite Comfort Food post that really got me thinking…
“I say Twitter is the first base of virtual relationships. Facebook is 2nd base. A phone call or text is 3rd base. And meeting in person is going ALL THE WAY.”
How we “meet”, communicate and develop relationships with other people is a process that becomes more and more digital with each passing day. In a world where you can meet your spouse through a website and win an online bidding war for a Starbucks cup tossed aside by Britney Spears, more and more of us consider our online friends to be some of our nearest and dearest.
But have you ever stepped back to take a look at how we bloggers become friends?
Most of the people we’d count as our online friends are people whose blogs we’ve read. As each day goes by, we learn a little more about them, their life and family, their beliefs and their general personality. Sure, we may exchange some pleasantries or continue a conversation via email, but if these bloggy acquaintances are also our Twitter friends, our relationship is immediately taken to the next level.
I’ve long said that people meet on blogs but become friends on Twitter. Twitter is so fantastic for live, real time chatting! You can laugh with, cry with, banter with (and drink with!) anyone in the world, any time of the day, about anything your heart desires.
All you need to know is their Twitter handle.
Facebook is where virtual friends reach a level comparable to your Girls’ Night Out crew. Back in college, it would have been the girls you lived with in an off-campus house, went out to the bars with and who you didn’t mind spending a lazy Saturday, unshowered, sitting around in your pajamas, and eating pizza with. Bloggers who become your Facebook friends are those you feel comfortable enough with to let down your guard, be yourself and share more personal details of your life.
Like, your last name.
Your circle of virtual friends becomes even more intimate when you exchange numbers. Personally, I’ve texted these friends more than spoken to them on the phone, but it’s not every day you give your phone number away to a (technically) perfect stranger, right?
Also, talking on the phone means that now they can hear your voice.
What if they think you talk weird?
What if you say something that doesn’t come off as very witty or intelligent? When your thoughts are typed out, you have the safety net of being able to backspace and start over.
I liken text/phone call blog friends to those women you asked to stand up in your wedding.
And for the ultimate in online friendships? The single point in time that you feel your most exposed? Your most vulnerable? When there’s no hiding you, what you look like, what you sound like and who *you* are?
Why, it’s the in-person meet up, of course.
Nina, you perfectly explained the evolution of how a blog acquaintance becomes a real-life friend, with connections becoming more intimate with each step taken. Also, I have you to thank for helping me realize that I’ve kissed more than 1,300 people, been felt up by a couple dozen of them, gotten even more *personal* with the likes of Natalie, Poppy, Momma Kiss and Natalie, and saved my cherry-popping for the one, the only, the antlered KLZ.
How “promiscuous” are you when it comes to online friends? What do you think about the evolution of virtual friends?
{I’m also guest posting over at Letters For Lucas! I’d love it if you stopped by!}
So funny and TRUE!
Having not yet mastered Twitter must make me a complete prude. I don’t think I have time to get my cherry popped, especially not over and over again. But is does sound appealing (:
I have tons of bloggers on my phone and it’s the only way I’ve been able to make sure I meet up with people at conferences. It gets so hectic!!!
My dearest friends are now bloggers actually!
I definitely consider some of my blog friends who I have never met to be real friends and would love to meet them in person. The fact that blogher will be in my hometown is fantastic. Have met a few of my twitter friends at tweetups already and they have been amazing. Definitely agree that twitter can lead to some great friendships.
I am in total awe of you ladies on twitter. I just recently logged back on there, haven’t tweeted but see you ladies going to town. I have to admit it is a bit intimidating. Would love to be apart of that “in” crowd.
This is such a great way to explain it! Love getting to know you via blog and Twitter.
Twitter is definitely helpful! It’s like the chat room of today (aw, remember chat rooms?).
Ah… now I understand the tweet earlier today from @TamingInsanity. I hadn’t seen this cute blog, yet. I’d could say I’ve gone all the way with a fair number of my followers, but that might get me in trouble with S. My followers and I are just great friends, some of whom have seen more than my feet. Now I’m getting myself in trouble again. You know what I mean.
I remember when you first started Twittering..back when you were just a babe!
I never took off with the twitter. I guess I have 4 kids “tweeting” at me most of the day…so didn’t have time to send or receive tweets. Woe is me!
I never thought about it quite like that but it is so true. Oh, how things have changed!
I have a lot of Blog friends on my Facebook and Twitter.
None on my phone though. Not yet, anyhow.
OMG!! You crack me up Liz! I love how you throw in those zingers every once in awhile, showing us your naughty side: “saved my cherry popping..”
But yes, you pretty much nailed the online relationships and I suppose you nailed KLZ too!
I’m so sad I missed the cherry popping. I was hopping we could make it a 3 way. Sigh.
You nailed it with this one (pun intended!).
I have loved getting to know you via blogs, e-mail and especially Twitter.
Thanks for guest posting for me today. So far 15 comments.
Oh and I got my 200th follower.
I confess that I had wild and crazy inappropriate encounters over the weekend.
And I liked it.
I love how you phrase this question “How “promiscuous” are you when it comes to online friends?” I’ve twittered, fb’ed and emailed a few so can’t say I’m that promiscuous yet, but I’m very happy with the folks I have reached out to like yourself.
According to this I am the cold, ice princess of the social media world.
At this rate I’ll never get laid. As in give someone my phone number. This analogy has become confusing to me.
haha so true
this is so true. and it means that i’ve gone all the way with surferwife!!!
I havent even headed for first base yet I guess.
This is great. I feel the same way, actually. And like dating, it always feels a little awkward and strange to ask for the next level. Like what if you ask for someone’s phone number and they think you’re a big fat weirdo and don’t give it to you? And when my bloggy friends accept my friend request — it’s a great feeling.
Can we please define what third base is exactly?
I need to know if I’m Tweasy or not.
Awe, shucks, I’m such a virgin!
Cute post, my dear!
This is so true, I had no idea that all of these people were behind the blogs I have visited until I started twitter (and you helped me find a ton of great people to follow). Does that make you a pimp of some sorts
??
Thanks and great post!
I just signed up for twitter, and I’m a little overwhelmed, but I can totally see how it can take your virtual relationships to the next level. It’s much easier to keep up with people that way.
It can seem overwhelming at first. But you should download something like TweetDeck. It’ll change your whole Twitter experience!
I think it’s great that so many bloggers find true “IRL” friends. People you can really relate to don’t always live conveniently down the street.
I do sometimes think it’s a shame that, since my family agreement is to stay anonymous, I’m not in a position to go farther than some extra email. There are a couple people who know a little more about me and I enjoy that connection even if we never get past “virtual -stop by for a quick chat once in awhile.”
Hussy. Kidding!
You hit the nail on the head about the voice thing on the phone. My accent is pretty thick. And I have a very recognizable voice. And I’m not sure that’s a good thing. Don’t want to scare people off, you know?
this is so funny! i found you from @glamamomnyc who i just met in real-life (yes, she is totally glamorous in person)
along these same lines, i’ve started thinking a celebrity tweet is the post-modern equivalent of an autograph.
It’s funny because I have just been realizing that my relationship with Twitter is similar to the relationship trajectory of my real-life friendships. I have now gotten to the point where I feel a little too out there. I don’t want people getting sick of me. So I am starting to retreat. This is what I do with EVERYONE. I need to break the pattern.
Regardless, I am looking forward to going all with the way with you at Blissdom:)
I came across your blog … and could not agree with you more!!! The whole “cyber world” isan amazing place. The people you cross pathes with … connect with … and relate to.
Unfortunately … I have never used twitter … so I guess I just go straight to second base. Does that mean I am cyber “easy’?!?!? *giggle*
That was…oddly graphic.
I remember reading someone’s post (and I really wish I could give credit, but it was a while back and I’ve done stuff since) about how they would always say, “This woman whose blog I read…” and then slowly decided to just start saying, “My friend…” because, well, that’s what we become.
We may not be friends in the traditional sense of getting coffee, calling each other to bitch about our day or asking for favors, but I don’t think that makes us any less friends.
P.S. I’m thinking about pickles right now. I don’t know why.
Liz,
I love this post. It is so fun to see how my online friends have evolved into some real friends.
I have made some amazing friends here in the internet over the past year. Amazing friends. But I am not an easy sort of girl.
I love Twitter . . . I will talk to anyone about anything on Twitter.
I hate Facebook. I never move anyone to Facebook. Hate it there.
And in the past year? I have given my phone number to only two people.
I text with one of those people and I talk to the other person on the phone.
And I have no plans to meet anyone in real life.
Not ever.
Ack.
I am all difficult.
Liz,
I am so glad I got to meet you at Blissdom, but I am jealous that you popped KLZ’s cherry. Damn.
You are so cute & funny, and I’m proud to call you my friend IRL now!
I love meeting people from the internet, I’ve rarely ever had bad experiences. This is a great synopsis though… Loved it!
You are awesome girl. And love that I’ve gone “all the way” with you now… especially with Pretzel M&Ms too.
I was telling my husband about one of my “friends” today. He had to ask if it was a high school, Houston, or “online” friend… #justsayin
A phone call is going all the way with me. I’m much more likely to meet you in person than give you my phone number. (the general you. not the BBCD you.) Because I hate the phone except that it lets me tweet and facebook.
Reading this after Tonya linked to it today. I love this analogy – can totally see it. I’m new to blogging but I can see how this would develop, and can absolutely imagine going all the way with some of the people I’ve met so far. (That makes me sound so slutty… Is there such thing as a blog slut?)