Blogging, while an engaging and entertaining experience, can also be something of a time suck. There comes a day when you realize you have lost half your day because you were sitting in front of a computer screen typing LOL as quickly as you could. Luckily, there is an easy solution to this blogging conundrum, one that will allow you to get your laundry schedule back on track. What you need is simple. Putting your life back in order is as simple as hiring a blog ghost writer.
Here are some reasons why hiring a ghost writer is worth your hard earned bucks:
- Ghost writers have an abundance of time that they need to fill doing something. Think I’m wrong? Consider this: ghost writers don’t even need to eat. They’re ghosts. Therefore, they have more time than you do since you keep having to take pesky nutritional breaks.
- Ghost writers know what you want to say with you having to think about it. You, on the other hand, spend a whole lot of time pondering things like “What’s my message?” and “How do I find my niche?“. Ghost writers aren’t you and as a result, they don’t care about your niche. They just write something so you’ll pay them.
- Ghost writers can say things you’re too nervous to say. Again, this is because they are not living your life. As a result, they only have minimal concern for what your mother-in-law might think if you use the words ‘balls’ inappropriately. This is good because the word balls is funny.
- Ghost writers are especially useful when people leave negative comments. Not only are their feelings not hurt (because they don’t care about personal attacks on you) but you can also pay them to haunt the person who dared to leave a negative comment.
- Ghost writers allow you time for you. You got into this whole blogging world in order to find a space that was truly yours. Somehow, you now find yourself chasing memes, unsure of yourself and full of questions. Should you move to WordPress? Should you have a three column blog or a two column blog? Where is that sandwich you made earlier? Take advantage of a ghost writer as a chance to sit back, take a bubble bath and watch Bridget Jones’ Diary. In no time, you’ll be feeling like your old self again, rested and ready to write posts about how to juggle everything in your life.
The proof is in the pudding: if you’re in over your head in the blogosphere, hire a ghost writer to help you get a handle on things. You just have to find a way to get your ghost writer to work for free. May I suggest bribing them with a mug?
Might I suggest this as a new Eli Rose service? What with the economy and all, there’ve got to be tons of ghosts out there just dying for job opportunities.
You could also arrange specific hauntings….
Well, we do technically offer it. Though we need to be fed.
I really, really need a ghost writer right now!!!
It would be pretty awesome, wouldn’t it?
When I type lol here it’s because I literally laughed ou loud. Ghosts don’t even have to eat. Ha!
Strangely, some days I’d prefer a ghost mom. You know a person to handle all my momly duties – cooking, cleaning, laundry, carpool, so I can sit around and write. Or read. Or just sit around.
Oooh, I like where you are going with that!
I’m wondering, what do ghosts need money for anyway? What do ghosts need to buy? Seems to me you’ve got a pretty good business idea, here.
Very true. This could be one of the mos lucrative ideas ever. Move over, Google!
Laughed out loud reading this because it is sooo true!
This is a wonderful idea but, I would have to meet with them and that would take time.
And here I thought ghosts were just scary. Now I want one!
Loved this! Another thing to mention is that ghost writers don’t often have a toddler tugging at their leg asking for cheerios, to watch tv or to go outside. Must.Find.Ghost.Writer.NOW
Ha! I love it. I would also like to hire a ghost house cleaner and a ghost laundry specialist. Maybe I should just look for a fairy godmother?
I bet you could find a ghost fairy godmother if you looked hard enough.
Yep, could totally use one of these! And iike the idea of watching movies instead WAY better than doing laundry!
Yes! This is just the answer I’ve been looking for.
balls are funny…I totally need to incorporate that word into my blog more…balls and taint…
taints are funny too
I feel like there are bloggers out there who are doing this.
Bloggers who are using the word balls and they don’t even know it.
This made me giggle. Enough that I’m commenting from my phone.
Hmm…. this is interesting to me because I could use one of those ghost writers.
I have a question though, can they be trained? I would like them to help with other tasks too? OH, and where do I find one?
WHAT an idea. Ghost writing for blogs…
If I had half a brain for any kind of business sense, I’d do this.
But, then, I’m lazy and so, all I’d be able to promise myself is an inbox full of emails from dissatisfied bloggers shouting “WHERE’S MY POST YA LOSER??”
Sometimes I’d like to BE a ghost writer on an anonymous blog so that I can say all the things I can’t say on my own blog. Things about my in-laws, who irk the bejeesus out of me; my deep-down and not-always-nice inner thoughts; and my real-life friend who reads my blog, has started her own, and now keeps popping up in the comments section of all my favorite blogs. And yes, I know I should respect my ILs, would get ripped to shreds for some of those less-than-appropriate thoughts, and am being irrational and immature re: my real-life friend (but seriously – can she not find her own “tribe?”).
But I don’t care – because if I was ghost writing, then I could unleash my inner bitch on negative commenters and tell them EXACTLY what I think without ruining my good-girl reputation.
Although I guess I’d still have to eat. Bleh.
This Is so funny and I agree… We all need ghost writers.
I’m sitting here with zero ideas for a post that goes up tomorrow (and not on my blog so I can’t just skip it) and here you are to save me! You must be my fairy godblogger. Now to track down one of those ghosts….
Where can I find myself a ghost writer?
I could definitely use one!
“Ghost writers are especially useful when people leave negative comments. Not only are their feelings not hurt (because they don’t care about personal attacks on you) but you can also pay them to haunt the person who dared to leave a negative comment.” <LOVE this one especially.
What a brilliant idea