Just 6 years into this parenting gig and I can already look back and think, “If only I knew that back then…“. There’s a whole lot more life – and parenting – left, and I’m sure I’ll continue to have these moments in years to come. But for right now, here are the things I most wish I knew back then.
(And for all those with kids younger than 6 or who are yet to become parents, feel free to take some notes.)
12 Things I Wish I Had Known about Parenting
- Getting 1 really nice stroller that serves multiple purposes and stages of child development is probably better – and cheaper – in the long run. Plus, you don’t have to worry about storing and hauling 5 different strollers.
- If you intend to not find out the gender ahead of time, don’t buy a bunch of older infant gender-neutral baby clothes while pregnant. Not even if they are on sale.
- You’ll be annoyed that strangers can’t determine if your baby is a boy or girl without an obvious color signal. Also, see #2.
- You’ll be amazed at the abilities of your first born. But then when you have your second, you’ll look at her and smile, knowing that baby #2 is advancing but still has a lot of growing up left to do.
- You’ll think that some of the names other parents choose for their kids are dumb.
- You’ll rethink your child-spacing approach. Many times.
- You’ll rethink the number of kids you want. Many times.
- You’ll look at each child at least once and ponder, “Where did you come from?!“
- You’ll look at each child at least once and insist, “She did NOT get that from me!“
- The older your kids get, the more other kids parents’ drive you crazy.
- You’ll be amazed at the ignorant things people say about your kids, in front of your kids.
- Never, ever discount the worth of digital, handheld entertainment.
So tell me, what have been your biggest learned parenting lessons?
Alex has taken to stealing my phone to play games. It was ok when I was giving it to him but now that he’s helping himself? Not thrilled. That’s MY toy.
Perfect list and dead on.
I find myself pondering many of these things on a daily basis with ALL of my kids… seriously the biggest one is #8.. where did you come from… it baffles me sometimes.
I’m still concerned that they may have switched a couple of my kids at the hospital.
Oh how true! One of the biggest mistakes I made was the stroller I bought. My sister just had a baby and bought the perfect stroller:) If I was to do it all again……lol
I so would have bought a different stroller.
I sometimes think I want a second kid just so I can redo #1 on your list. I HATED our stroller and infant car seat and had ridiculous levels of jealousy toward others’. I apparently have issues.
Great list!
I love the list! #12 is my favorite, my phone and the iPad have prevented many a meltdown in public!
#12- Yes, that!
I also realized that babies don’t really need that many toys. Really, how many rattly, jingly things does one need? Just 2 – a main one and a spare one! Also, teething toys are a waste of money. My son preferred biting on a wet cloth!
YES!!!! Teethin toys are a big time waste for me because he just throws them on the floor and then chews on his fingers until they are red.
Number Eleven still kills me.
And my kids are in middle school.
But some people are stupid forever.
Count on it.
This is a GREAT list. I agree with Alison though – babies don’t need many toys. Now that I’m on my third and my girls are much older, we really streamlined. He hardly has any toys. He honestly doesn’t have a lot of clothing since he stays home. Older siblings are great entertainment for babies. #10 gets worse as they get older. Actually, other kids drive me crazier as they get older and their friends can actually develop personalities I don’t like. I never understood my mom’s desire to steer me towards or away from particular friends, but I get it now.
One other item I’d add to my list: I never would have believed that you never truly know how you feel about so many parenting decisions, or really parenting in general, until you ARE a parent. Even if you’re certain you know how you’ll feel about every little part of parenting. It’s not the same when it’s actually your life and your child.
Sometimes you’ll open up a diaper and see corn. Like, full pieces of corn. And it will disgust you, especially when you can’t figure out when your child ate corn.
Also, you will realize you grossly underestimated how much you have to look directly at someone else’s anus (stolen from a Hey Tell bwn me and KLZ)
Yup. That’s about right. Frickin #@%*)@ strollers.
And the staring at anus thing, Amanda, SO. SPOT. ON. …now will someone tell me when that stops? At 5, 6?
Also, Alison, could you PLEASE talk to my in laws about the toys? Sheesh!
Oh yeah, great list, Liz.
You know what? I wish I had known that books, articles, and info were guidelines and averages, not hard and fast rules. I stressed out so much in the beginning worrying and hoping everything was just right. Before long I learned that a mother’s instincts are the be all end all, tried and true method to parenting. Once I settled in and got comfy with that, it was so much better.
Never criticize other parenting styles. You have no idea what it’s like to have their kid. And I’ve seen many kids who I’ve detested turn out quite fine. Not to mention, the problems you see them having may be your own at some point.
Two words
Angry Birds.
Saves my sanity.
Great list Liz! My addition would be this:
Less is definitely more. It really doesn’t matter how cute or cool it is, your kid doesn’t need it and probably won’t even end up wearing/playing with it. It will just end up being something else you’ll have to kick around. Save yourself the headache and just don’t even buy it in the first place.
Little man is only one and I already say at least once per day “he must get that from his dad.”
“You’ll be annoyed that strangers can’t determine if your baby is a boy or girl without an obvious color signal. ”
I actually never had this problem. My son was all boy from the start.
Now my brother, I remember when he was about 3 and someone called him a girl. Yes, 3.
Oh man, #5, totally. I would have to add that potty training could be one of THE hardest things you ever do….
Digital handheld entertainment saves lives. Theirs and mine! And, people still think #3 is a girl. He’s 4.
That you will, at some point, open a box of crackers while grocery shopping so that your child will stop whining. No matter how many times you scoffed at parents who did that before you had your own kids!
Also, Amanda is so right. I NEVER want to see another anus in my life. And yet I have at least 3 or 4 more years of it
Totally #11. Maren thinks she is going to have a spinoff to “Little People Big World” when she grows up.
My biggest lesson learned about parenthood so far is that it’s not an exact science, no matter how many baby books you read (and I’ve read exactly zero). I firmly believe that raising a child is 75% winging it and 25% learning from your own mistakes.
Maybe make that 50/50.
These are all so true! I’m sure I’ll find out more about this once Nolan is bigger and #2 arrives!
Good to know! Especially about the gender neutral clothing, though it does make complete sense.
I feel as though much of what I know about parenting I learned from Parenthood. What? No good?
I’m still relatively new to parenting – one main thing I have learned so far is to prepare yourself for gross encounters (poop in the bathtub, explosive diapers, etc.).
“Talking Tom Cat”. It’s free at the iTunes store. Best app ever.
#6 and #10 absolutely! I think for me i never really realized how much my children would change ME. I knew they would change my life, but I never thought they would rock the core of who I was. That core though has been totally rocked.
Ah, and now I’m so misty eyed.
I wish I could do it all over.