If you had asked me about being a mom while I was growing up, I would have answered you with things like, “Of course I will!” and “I want 8 kids!“. But nowhere in my responses would you ever have heard an age attached to those plans.
I’ve never been one to have “deadlines” for life events, though I’m sure you all know at least 1 person (or perhaps, yourself?) who does. For me, it was College after High School, Marriage after College, and Babies after Marriage.
That was the extent of any and all expectations or life plans I had for myself.
I think most people would consider me as being “young” when I married. I was engaged the second semester of my senior year of college and married 1 year after my college graduation. Craig and I made our first relocation just less than 2 years after we were married, and Kate was born 2.5 years after our move.
Craig and I were married 3 years before any of our friends married. And I had given birth to both of my girls before any one of my cousins and most of our friends were even pregnant.
It’s interesting to watch how the cards of life play out for each of us. If I hadn’t met Craig in college, for example, all the life events that came after that would have occurred much differently – even though I still married the same man.
I remember feeling sort of lonely in this regard during my 20′s because most everyone we knew was “living it up” at an age you are supposed to do those things, while we were entrenched in diapers and bottles, and required toothpicks to keep our eyes open past 9 pm.
Now, its my cousins who are having the babies, and all at the same time. But I haven’t changed a diaper in nearly a year, and again find myself wishing I could share those times with them and take those journeys together.
But with every perceived “negative”, there always comes a positive. For example, Craig and I may have “missed out” on a lot of our 20′s, but I will be 48 years old when my youngest is an adult and off to college.
While I had no specific plans nor intentions for my life with regard to marriage and baby carriages, I’ve reached a point where I’m beginning to realize the (unintentionally-gained) benefits of the way the cards fell for me. Now at 34 I feel like I’ve crossed a pretty significant parenting hurdle and am busy moving on to the next phase of my life and career.
And all these “highlights” that I’m currently experiencing in my mid-30′s? I owe them all to marrying at 23 and becoming a mother at 27.
Did you have specific ages you imagined yourself either getting married or becoming a mother? Do you think about how old you’ll be when your kids become adults, or is that just us? Do you ever imagine life “Sliding Doors” style?
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